As I was scrolling through twitter/facebook and listening to other people talk. I realized that a lot of people are opting out of being married. In exchange for having children with people they really don’t know. And when I say they really don’t know them it’s because about 6 months into the baby being here there is some type of drama. Now there are always exceptions to the rule. We’ve all ran across that unstable significant other who we dating for one too many months and got more than we bargained for!
Just to make sure I wasn’t tripping I asked a friend if she thought “people believed in marriage anymore”? She flat out said no! And if you look at TV it promotes jump offs winning over the wife. Men promoting sleeping with several women and women leaving nothing to the imagination and I could keep going. However when I was younger (smirk) all that foolishness wasn’t shown. Successful couples winning are what I saw!
In my common sense mind I thought marriage makes so much more sense than spreading your “seeds” around for everyone you meet! To me adding a kid to the mix is an automatic 18 mandatory years that you are connected to someone that you obviously didn’t think that much of or you would’ve married them first. And not saying stuff doesn’t happen and you get caught up. But to be a repeat offender of this same thing is
Verses keeping your hormones in check and slowing your roll. The problem with most of us (me included) we want all the benefits of a relationship without putting in the work (and I don’t mean like 9 to 5 work) “effort”. Anything that will bring you benefits requires some effort people!!! We’ll work at being successful and making more money but we want to take short cuts when it comes to marriage.
Below are some tips to help you!
Get Better Examples. If your only examples are people who have multiple boo thangs and commitment issue. News flash you will eventually do the same thing! Stop fooling yourself and hang out with some real grown folks (even if that means they are honest about not being ready for a ship and they aren’t spreading their seeds with the world smh).
Think Beyond your 10 minutes of pleasure (if that long ekkk).
Look to Add to someone. Before you start to think about being in a serious committed relationship. Get yourself in check (be a work in progress). Don’t bring your unnecessary junk to the table!
Don’t settle. For the quick smile and good game! Have a standard and stick with it! Men and Women!
I am still a HOPEFUL romantic believer in Marriage but I do believe that Marriage is in trouble for those who don't recognize its value!
Shivawn A. Mitchell